Process
Based on what has been described previously in Critical reflection and Research, I value the process of making each art project. It is part of my work, like a time-consuming performance or a psychotherapy session that goes deeper into the self.
Each moment spent crafting, contemplating, and physically engaging with the materials becomes a performative act, a living embodiment of my internal processes and explorations. It’s akin to a prolonged performance where the act of creation is as vital as the created object. This methodology aligns with the notion of ‘process art’ where the means of art creation holds intrinsic value, allowing the artist’s experiences, decisions, and journey to become visible traces within the completed work.
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Sculpture
In ancient India, there were often ascetic monks with unkempt hair and ragged clothes, carrying a three-pronged staff symbolizing Shiva , chanting ancient scriptures while walking, and sleeping in the jungle . Ascetic monks must endure things that ordinary people consider painful, such as self- punishment , long-term fasting , reducing drinking water, lying on a bed full of nails, walking on hot charcoal, enduring extreme heat and cold, and even eating and drinking to exercise endurance and disengagement.
I like to maintain the same ascetic attitude in the creative process as in the ancient Indian religions, but not to refine my will to go on a pilgrimage, but to be faithful to the process of making a work with my own hands and to feel the gradual nurturing of a work that represents my spirit. Honestly giving my whole body, mind and time to the work.
My creative process, as described, appears deeply introspective and dialogical, where the act of creation becomes a transformative journey of self-inquiry and reflection. Throughout this journey, my artwork acts as a canvas where the internal dialogues, uncertainties, and contemplations are projected, allowing for a continual reassessment of personal experiences and perceptions, particularly those concerning the nature of love.
This reflective dialogue that I engage in with myself during the creation process seems crucial. It’s not just about the physical act of creating, but also a simultaneous unraveling and examining of personal narratives and beliefs.
My questioning of the nature of "love"—whether it’s a genuine feeling or a subconscious misjudgment driven by a need for long-term, stable intimacy—points towards this explorative and questioning approach. It’s a deliberation that delves into the essence of human desires and needs, questioning the authenticity of one’s feelings and the subconscious motives that might be guiding them.
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Fabrication of internal brackets
In the last work " ", the wool was too heavy and caused the internal support to deform, so in this time I used a higher density wire mesh for the internal structure.
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Installation
The red sculptures, crafted from wool, symbolize a powerful confluence of feelings and primitive impulses. The choice of red is significant, often associated with passion, love, desire, and sometimes even anger or danger. This color becomes a visual representation of the intense emotions I aim to convey, acting as a conduit to express the complexities of human desires and intimate relationships.
Wool, as a material, brings an organic, tactile dimension to the sculptures. Its soft, welcoming texture invites interaction, symbolizing warmth and familiarity, perhaps representing the tenderness and comfort associated with love and intimacy. However, its manipulation into irregular forms also alludes to the complexities, twists, and turns inherent in love and desire, reflecting the multifaceted nature of these emotions.
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Syrup
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Syrup made by boiling and simmering white sugar
2. Golden Syrup
For sugar choices, I did two experiments. One was a syrup made by boiling and simmering white sugar, pouring it over a ball of wool while it was boiling and as it cooled it would form a hard crust on the surface of the ball of wool. The second was a golden syrup that was fluid and room temperature and would not form a crust due to temperature changes.
Using the first material would have added a new texture and language to the piece, but because of the dangers associated with my oversized sculptures and the high temperature of the boiling white sugar, I opted for a second, controlled golden syrup.
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The beginning of the show
In the 15 minutes before the performance, I sat alone in the storage room to feel and remember that past experience, Icreate a sacred space of solitude that facilitates a journey inwards, enabling me to tap into the recesses of my subconscious. This act of self-hypnosis is powerful; it's a deliberate immersion into the depths of past experiences, allowing the memories and feelings associated with a past intimate relationship to resurface and permeate my consciousness. This process seems essential, an emotional and psychological preparation that saturates my being, ensuring that the performance is not just a physical act but a resonant, emotionally charged embodiment of my lived experiences.